A Panther in the Greenhouse

Some of the most random things I ever talk about happen at my job. As many people know, I work in a lettuce greenhouse. When asked what my job is, I'm usually hesitate. I mean how do you explain it let alone word it?? Lucky for me, my boss is hilarious and really laid-back. If he's in a really good mood, he'll crack jokes.

Rob: My ancestors were from China
Me: No, they weren't. You are about the least Chinese person I know. (he's white and Dutch)
Rob: Hey, don't be making fun of my ancestory.

Rob: (talking about his current wife) Yeah in college me and some of my friends bugged her room. We put a recording device on her bed and listened to her and her roommate talk.
Another employee: Sounds like something a stalker would do
Rob: No, that was love.

Rob: You should bring in a schedule for your track meets.
Me: Well you could just print one off on the big 9 website.
Rob: Fine
~silence~
Me: I guess I could bring you one if you want
Rob: No, I won't accept it.

And I work with some really good friends (if it weren't for them, picking off dead leaves all night would really REALLY suck)

But I should probably tell you the reason I named this blog the way I did. So Kelsey Loverink and I were talking while picking dead leaves off lettuce heads, and I asked her, "What is the most random animal that you could find in a greenhouse?"

"A panther," she responded right away.

So the two of us our standing on the cart and our imaginations are running wild (you have to remember it's about 10:30 at night) "Yes, that would be rather odd," I responded. "Let's say I tapped you on the shoulder and told you there was a panther underneath the channels. You looked down and saw it staring up at us with big, blue eyes. Calm as could be. We declare it to be a Kodak moment and snap a picture. But the flash blinded him, and he went crazy."

"And he jumped up on top of the lettuce channels," Kelsey cut in. "And jumped onto the little furnace hanging from the ceiling and caught on fire and fell to the ground. Which started all the lettuce on fire. As the flames blazed around us, Rob told us to just keep working."

"Meanwhile the flaming panther bounds out of the greenhouse and out into the neighborhood. A family is just sitting down to a meal (at 10:30 p.m.....? work with me here) and has a beautiful glass window in their dining room overlooking the greenhouse. The parents' backs are facing away from the window while the children get front row seats to the blazing greenhouse and jungle cat. 'Mom, Dad! Look, look! There's a panther outside!' 'Nonsense, children. Now be quiet, and eat your brocculi.' " I was on a roll.

Kelsey ended the story with a bang. "Then the panther leaps through the window into the dining room and proceeds to run through the house (still on fire)" The End :)

And this is one of many creative stories that transpire at my job. I should write a book. . . .