Moving On

It's ok
I forgive you
Not a problem!
No worries!
It was an accident :)
I will be ok.

It's what I say when someone does me wrong. It's an automatic response.
If only I said what I really mean....

It's not ok.
I can't deal with this
How could you??
You should have known what this would do to me.
I'm not ok.

I have to be strong, pain will go away eventually if I just tough it out.
But I know, deep down, that when the cut is deep, it will never go away away.
It will fade, and maybe even be unnoticable to the rest of the world.
But I can still feel it.
And it's still there.
And no matter how much I try to forget, try to move on, it always will be.

It's not a conscious thing, more like a stain on the wall. You only remember it's there when you see it.

And yes I will recover, and I will heal.
And over time I will forget, not completely, but enough.
Maybe the memory won't even be painful, I can only hope.