Rhymes :)

This is a story that I am making up as I sit here.
It rhymes.

One day Teo decides to go on a trip
He meets a girl who had a ring in her lip
That girls name was Agnith, and she liked rock
She wore black skinny jeans and one red sock
Teo fell in love, and his heart soared high
Life was good, until she said goodbye
She didn't feel the same, and left with haste
She claimed she had to feed her cat, not a moment to waste!
Teo was in agony and fell to his knees.
Please don't leave me! I'm begging you, PLEASE!
But Agnith could care less and ran out the door
Teo cried and cried and cried some more
Finally, after 13 days
He left his bed and headed for the city of Caise
He went to Carlos O'Kelley's for a bite
And discovered that his wallet was quite tight
He sprinted out the back and into the street
He couldn't get caught, the police he did not want to meet.
He was a wanted man, needless to say
And he is to this day
So if you see a man named Teo, strutting along
Greet him & smile, and tackle him to the ground

Give Me Your Eyes

"Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missin
Give me your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyone my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me your eyes so I can see." Give Me Your Eyes-Brandon Heath

The view is blurry through my eyes
My horizons stretch so much shorter than yours
I see what I want to see
The poverty & hunger are miles away
Not a concern of mine.
I know I'm better off than most
And I'm grateful at times
But it's not my duty
It's too much stress
I have a life of my own.

I need a revelation
An attitude change
It's about time I saw people through your eyes
It's time to put judgement aside
And throw contempt out the window
To the world I am just one person
But to one person, I could be the world

No More, No Less

Oh how fun you may think this is
A game with a start and an end
With playing pieces and obstacles
But your goal is to win
Whatever the cost, you never stop playing
But I wish you would
Because in this game, you're trying to beat me
Why don't you just quit, like you know you should
The object is to manipulate
Use me for your own good
It's turned you into a monster
Doing things you never knew you could
It started off with innocent and fun
We'd played this game before, before I knew your rule
You put on a show, and made it light-hearted
This turned into cheating & using me as a tool
Did you think I wouldn't notice
That I was naive and dumb
I've got news for you buddy
I'm through with you, I've got better times to come
Good luck trying to hook another victim
I will no longer waste my time trying to impress
You acted different when you were with me
I've always been myself, no more no less

Learn to LIVE

Learn to live, and learn to love.
When you think you've finally figured it out, just look above.
As long as you don't give up, hope won't run out.
Be certain when the world is in doubt.
Question everything you hear.
For deceit is always near.
A peaceful world is only in our dreams
For love & happiness flew out the wind, it seems
There's fake love, alright, it's everwhere you look
But that feeling of assurance, someone has took
How beautiful the world was, so many years since
We've welcomed wrong, shoved away right & blotted out the footprints
I have to be the change I want to see
For peace begins with me

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Times are tough, everyone knows it. Some people are becoming more & more aware of what htey're spending, while some people could care less. Those people are the problem. but they only way we can get out this dreadful situation is by hoping. There's a light at the end of the tunnel! In every tough situation, it's the same way. You could be at the very beginning of the tunnel, the worst has just happened, and you're feeling as hopeless as a bug stuck on a spiderweb. But you have to keep your chin up, there's others counting on you. So you press forward. You eventually come to mid-tunnel, and realize you're halfway there! Whatever you're going through, no matter how bad it is, someone else has already experienced it. After what seems like forever, you see the light. The end is near. You step out into the brilliant, shining light. It couldn't have come at a better time.

Rollercoaster

Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, but you never know when they're gonna be. One minute you can be in such high spirits and feeling like you can do anything. Then the next minute, it's like everyone's mad at you and you've let everyone down. And somehow the negative always squashes the positive. You try to make amends, but sometimes the damage is so deep, there's no way for it to heal, except in time. Trust has been broken. A lamp can break, and you can glue it back together. A string can break, and you can tie it back together. But trust is something that's earned, and when it's broken....it may never be fixed. Sure, those people may forgive you and move on. But every promise you make from then on, they think, "Is she gonna follow through this time?" in the back of their minds. You can only hope that those people you've wronged can find it in themselves to let it go.

Redo

If you given the chance to do one thing over again, what would you do? You could erase any mistake you've ever made. No one would remember, it would be as if it had never happened. Ooooh :) This is gonna be good. I could erase that time someone stepped on my toe nail and it popped off....or I could erase that time I hit my brother in the knee with a shovel.....or erase the time I flipped the four wheeler. Jackpot! Hmmm, but which to choose? So many mistakes....

Wait!

What if that guy had never stepped on my toe nail? Maybe something even worse would have happened. Maybe seconds later, a wild boar would have jumped off the stage and bit it off? Hey, it's happened before. What if I hadn't hit my brother in the knee with a shovel? He would have completely ruined my snow fort. Although it may not seem like it, I think I made the right decision. What if I hadn't flipped the four wheeler? There could have been a badger or something that ran out in front of me, and I coulda hit that and went flying!

I think I'll just stick to making mistakes. It's what I do best :)

411

Hey ya'll! If you're reading this, I imagine you know me fairly well. You probably know that I love The Office. Ok.....that I'm obsessed with The Office (I've seen every episode of seasons 1-5 at least once :) you might know that I will never ever pass up a smoothie. Even if all I have is $6 left on a weekend trip, I will spend $4.50 on a good smoothie. Or if you really know your Colleen trivia, you might know that my ro-models in elementary school were Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I had a poster shrine of them on my wall, 23 dolls (lol yes I know that's an odd number), outfits, make-up, 31 books, 12 movies, 5 life biographies.....crazy i know!

If you're involved in high school track, I'm sure you've seen me dashing around the track or doing high jump at least once or twice :) I know a lot of people just join track because they want to stay in shape, or because their friends are in it. But strange as it may sound, I really love running! There's no better feeling that finishing a race, completely out of breath, and getting your best time. Well, I guess if you won that would make it even better :)

Pop quiz! Which sport did I join for the first time this year?........Did you guess lacrosse??? Well, if so, you're wrong. I joined tennis! I'd never been in a fall sport, and I decided that I didn't want to have so much free time on my hands. It was a tough decision between volleyball, soccer, & tennis. I enjoyed all 3 of them! In the end I chose tennis, and boy did I make the right decision! The girls were fabulous, and the coaches were so helpful and nice. I felt like I belonged from day 2 (the first day I was really out of it and had no idea what I was doing.....lol) The technique part of tennis was much harder than I expected, and I had to really work on my form. I went from hitting balls over the fence to getting some pretty nice shots in the court! At our end of the year banquet, I won the JV award for most improved. The bus rides were one of my favorite things. This sport was a LOT different from track. Rules were not nearly as strict, we ate whatever we wanted on the bus, & we always stopped for dinner after the match. I loved it!

If you're into any of the music programs at ALHS, you may have seen me playing clarinet in the band, singing in Varsity choir, or singing & dancing at SASS practice!

You might also know that I manage JV boys basketball. I started in 9th grade when my junior friends asked me and some other girls to help them out. I thought it sounded like fun, and it'd be a great way to get to know some of the guys! It was a ton of fun, and I'm looking forward to doing that again.

Well I hope that I've given you a better understanding of who I am and if you already knew all that stuff about me, I hope I just gave you something to do with the last 4 minutes :)

Run to Me

When you feel like everything is falling apart
And you have no control anymore
Run to me
When life is a constant struggle
And time drags on with no purpose
Run to me
When you feel like no one cares
And it seems you've lost everyone, think again
Run to me
When you can't find the bright side
And the glass is half empty
Run to me
When it feels like the world is out to get you
And every choice is a tug of war
Run to me
I can't fix your mistakes
And I can't undo the damage
But I will be a shoulder to cry on
I will be your friend, through thick and thin
In my eyes, you're no different than the day I met you
You will find no judgement in me
My forgiveness will never run out
So when you feel like there's nothing left
Think again
And run to me

Erase

The memories are better off if they never existed. Nothingness is better than pain. If only there was some way to erase the times we spent together. Good and bad. Because one can't come without the other. They're two for one. And although I don't want to let it go, I must. It's the only way to move on. Press forward. Like a ring that's lost in the ocean, there's no possible way you will find it, so why bother looking? There will be other rings. But none like the one you had.

Time keeps passing, the clock keeps ticking but I am going no where. I'm stuck in the mud, and you're not there to help me out.

There's a silver lining to every cloud, or so I've heard. Well I sure don't see one. I can only hope that in the future, I'll find it. The one I've always dreamed of. Finest quality, I can't settle for just anyone.

Til then, I can't dwell in the past. Because when you're so busy looking back, you miss what's in front of you. And life will pass you by if you don't embrace it. I can't wallow in self-pity, I'm better than that.

Have a Nice Day

"Hey!"
"Hey. How's it going?"
"Good. How about you?"
"Good."
"That's good."

Now how many times have you heard that? Once or twice, right? This conversation bugs me, although I catch myself saying it all the time. First of all, what's the point ot talking to this person if this is all you're gonna say? You must not be very close if all you ask is "How's it going?" When 99% of the time you could care less how the person is doing. So why bother asking?? I think it'd be cool if we had a 6th sense to feel when someone was really hurting. Then you could genuinely ask, "How's it going?" And they would lie and say, "Good." And you could say, "Now tell me how it's really going. Because I honestly want to know." You would make that person's day! Maybe all they needed was someone to share their problems with, just someone who cared. And what an honor it'd be to have that person be you :)

Out With the Old, In With the New

Here I go!
What a wild roller coaster ride I've chosen
It's crazy I know, but that's the thrill of it!
Every turn invites a new and unexpected twist
The best part is I never know when it's coming
Dull moments are never an issue
Not in the life I live
And that's the way I like it :)
Business is the spice in my routine
What would I do without variety!
The only thing that's certain,
Is that when one day ends...
A new one begins!

Comfort Zone

Stepping out of my comfort zone, why is that so hard? What am I afraid of? Making a fool of myself? I've already done that, more often than necessary. But failure is a give-in. No one can be good at everything. And hey, if you try something new, and you don't do so swell.....at least you gave it your best. That's all anyone can ask for. You don't fail when you lose, you fail when you give up.

Stop and Wonder

I thought to myself today, how often do I stop and wonder? It seems to me that most of us just accept everything we're told and don't give it a second thought. For instance, we all know that a tree comes from a seed. Duh, you're saying, I've known that since 1st grade. Think about it though, an entire TREE can come out a tiny SEED. That's amazing!!! The trunk and every stem, leaf, twig, branch, fruit, and nut that s tree bears comes from that very seed!

Or how about this one: a human. In a single moment, millions of things are happening in your body. As your reading this, your eyes are taking in every word (unless you're just skimming through it, and if you are then you need to start over), while at the same moment, your heart is beating, you're breathing (I hope), your blood is flowing, your stomach is digesting your latest meal....and tons more! And you're not controlling any of those! The human body is fascinating. You start off as a tiny embryo....and then you become a baby....a toddler.....a child....a teenager.....an adult.......and finally an old person! And the possibilities of what you look like are endless! Eye, hair, & skin color along with being short, tall, fat, skinny. Not to mention, abilities like being athletic, creative, smart, funny, social, & annoying. And you have body parts uniquely placed in just the right place to do just the right thing.

Sitting in J10 Computer Lab and the Joys it Entails

Sitting in J10 class. Not being very productive. But I am blogging, so that counts for something! But I've got some buddies here, so it's all aight :)

Rachel is looking quite ravishing, in her Just for Kix jacket
Stacia is surfing the web without making a racket!
Kelsey T appears to be googling something
Michelle is so cute and a smile she does bring!
Sam sits far away, but close to my heart
Galen and Morgan are twins today, til their swim meet will start
Ashley is busy, typing so fast
Macy looks puzzled, hopefully that look won't last
Katie is smiling, what a surprise!
Kelsey is reading my blog, a light in her eyes.
Annabelle looks delightful as always
Anissa is laughing, as she does every day.

:) :)

Domino Effect

Ahhh I am so proud of myself--I'm blogging before Sunday night! :)

At work tonight, I had an interesting conversation with my two very good friends, Kelsey and Megan. I thought I'd share with you!

Imagine this:
I'm sitting in math class, bored out of mt mind. (Sounds like a typical day, right? Not for long....) I stare out the window as the birds fly freely about. I wish I was a bird. Not because I could lay eggs and have the power to poop on people's windshields, but so that I could just fly away from this wretched class! Ugh! What is she talking about? Something about parallel lines.....where have I heard that before? Oh ya, LAST year! Gah. Suddenly, Gayle Nelson (muh ha ha) lets out a blood-curtling shriek! There is a mouse lurking in the corner by her desk. She jumps out of the way, afraid it will pounce at any moment. She hits one of the desks in the front row and tips it over. That desk hits a student and the student stands up with a jolt, sending his pencil flying into the eye of his fellow pupil in the seat behind him. That child is going beserk and runs out of the room, slamming into the bookshelf in the process. The bookshelf rocks unsteadily, and then stops. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Then it crashes through the window along with every single book on the shelves. One of the books hits the guy mowing the lawn on the head. He's taken by shock and fails to steer the lawn mower as it plows onto the highway. A semi driver slams on his breaks just in time to miss him. Unfortunately, for the car behind him, the driver can't stop in time and runs into a tree. This tree just happens to be next to the picnic tables at Mrs. Gerry's where some of the workers are enjoying a smoke. They're scared silly and drop their cigarettes. The grass catches on fire. Attempting to avoid the path of the fire, a biker swerves to miss it and ends up in the lake. A nearby swan is abruptly awakened by a car plunging into the murky depths. Fire trucks quickly arrive on the scene. Witnesses are interviewed. The incident is quickly examined and the culprit is found and is serving a life sentence in prison. That poor, poor mouse.

RYE 2009

For those of you who are reading this and are not Kelsey or Kelly, you're probably wondering what RYE is. (No, it's not that grain you put in bread) It stands for Region Youth Event, and the 7-12th graders from our church go to it every November. It's impossible to go and not have a good time!

We left our church at 4:00 on Friday afternoon. We had a huge group this year-17 kids! The car I rode in had me and 6 other girls (Kelly, Kelsey, Kristine, Kim, London, & Rachel), needless to say it was absolutely quiet the whole 2 1/2 hours down to Cedar Rapids, IA. HA! Not even! We were laughing and talking and taking pictures and singing along with the radio. Oh and snacking :D We stopped and ate at Arby's with the rest of our posse. When we got to our hotel, I was rooming with Kelly, Kelsey, and 2 junior high girls (we weren't too excited about those last two, but we were civil) We had our 1st session that night, it was really interesting. The speaker was the best speaker RYE has ever had, he was so funny and he really knew how to make the lesson pertain to teens. He showed lots of funny videos and got us really into his lectures! After that, everyone (about 250 kids and their leaders) went bowling! My goal was to break 100 points....and I got 111! I was very proud. After the 3rd frame my friend, London, was already at 56. "Geez, London! You're already at 56?!" I shouted about the loud music.

"What?!!" My other friend, Kristine, yelled with wide eyes.

"I said 'London's already got 56 points.' "

"Oh! I thought you said, 'There's cheese curds for $0.50!' "

We got back to the hotel at 11:45 p.m. Everyone went to bed right away. Ha ha, just kidding. (You're so gullable :) We stayed up talking and eating in the hotel breakfast room. The hotel worker was so nice! He bought us cards from the vending machine and gave us left over from his daughter's birthday! We stayed up much later than we should have. Kelly, Kelsey, and I ended up sleeping in the older girls' room because of a problem with the younger munchkins that were staying in our room. :P One girl was snoring like a bear and the other one insisted that the TV be kept on.....ALL night. She claimed she was afraid of the dark & couldn't sleep unless it was on. We suggested leaving the bathroom light on our using the laptop light but that just wouldn't do for her! So we got kicked out of our own room and ended up sleeping on the floor. Wonderful.

We woke up at 8:30 the next morning, had a lovely breakfast at the hotel and then it was off to our next session. Lunch came before we knew it. After our tummies were full, we went and played our traditional game of "American Rat Noise" in a dark, desolate hallway. What the heck is "American Rat Noise" you're probably thinking. Allow me to explain. It's where you sit against a wall (preferably a hollow wall in front of bathroom--so that everyone who has to go to the bathroom has to step over you and then the can hear our sound effects while they're in there) and everyone gets their own noise. An elbow against the wall, growl, hiss, screech, opera. It's hard to explain, so if you want to know more just ask me. Or, even better, I could show you! After that, some of our group (I won't mention names.....) were bums and stayed in the church being lazy, while the rest of us went outside and enjoyed the b-e-a-utiful, sunny 7o degree weather! London, Andrew, Max and I went and played 900 with a football outside. After that we spent 45 minutes at our hotel. Some people napped while others (including myself) went swimming. Next on the agenda......shopping at the Lindale mall!!! :) "Hey Kristine," I said when we got there, "this mall has your dad's name in it."

"Wonderful," she muttered.

"And it has my mom's middle name in it, except it's spelled wrong." London said as we walked by the terrace.

"Your mom's middle name is Terrace?" Kelly asked. Ha ha we got a kick out of that.

We went to some very unique stores and bought some very unique things. Ha ha I won't say anymore. We ate in the food court, some very excellent Chinese food I did have :) After the evening session, I could barely contain my excitement. Remedy Drive was playing tonight!!!! (If you've never heard of them, that's really unfortunate for you. Look 'em up on iTunes! After you've read this blog, that is.) This was their 5th concert I'd been too, so I knew all their songs by heart. (Oh and also if you want to see pictures of them, they're in one of my albums on my Facebook. Me and them are tight. Lol.) You would think that we'd hit the sack as soon as we were back at the hotel. Don't get me wrong, we were exhausted. But hey, we're kids! Kelly, Kelsey, and I kept our tradition of watching the Sci Fi channel going and watched "From Within"....wonderful movie to watch before bed. A good, wholesome family movie. (ha ha said in sarcastic tone) We made it clear that the TV would not be running tonight, but jdust to make sure we hid the remote and unplugged the TV. Apparently some (emphasis on some) 7th graders are smarter than we give them credit for, because I woke up to the sound of the TV hours later and that little rugrat fast asleep.

Our last morning started at 8:20 a.m. We went and had breakfast and made sure we had everything packed. Our youth group got together and talked about what we'd learned about God and what our favorite things were. We hit the road at 9:50. This car ride was very quiet and everyone slept. Honest! Sleep deprivation had caught up to us. We got back to our church at 12:15. And that was my RYE 2009!

I Will Catch You When You Fall

I care for you more than you could ever know. You mean more to me than all the treasures of the world. I love you so much that I gave my own life for you. I have a plan for you, you are here for a reason! If you only knew what I have in store for you. Please don't shut me out! All I want is you! I gave you everything, is your worship so much to ask? This life will have trials and there will grief and loss. I promise you, though, I will be by your side the entire time. I will never leave you nor forsake you. You don't have to carry your burdens. Give them over to me, and I will give you rest. There is nothing you could ever do that would make me love you less. Never forget that I love you and will always catch you when you fall.

-God

Late Nights With Friends = Sleep Deprivation

Just as I laid my head on my pillow, turned off the light, and turned on my ipod...I remembered my blog. With a groan I drug myself out of bed. Why was I ready to fall asleep at 8:45 p.m? Well, if I had my way, I would be in bed at 9:00 every night. Colleen likes her sleep. But I don't always get my way. So nights usually end up going til 10:00, 10:30, 11:00, and sometimes even into the wee hours of the morning. And let's not forget those nights were you stay up late partying with your friends. You know you should go to bed because you'll be exhausted in the morning, but frankly you just don't care. And then, try as you might, you just can't fall asleep at the normal time because your sleep schedule is so whacko! And so now, as I finish this blog (I imagine you must be really, REALLY bored if you've read this far) I bid thee good night.

Fall for You

You've got to be kidding. Nope........he's not.
You can't possibly think that's alright. Yes........he can.
You must know how I feel. No..........he doesn't.

I've got to give you credit, I could never do what you've done. To keep pressing on, although you're stepping on everyone in your path. Completely aware of what you're doing, but choosing to ignore it. I'll never understood why you did it, it was just a game to you. Something to keep you busy. Something to pass the time. A challenge, that once you conquered, had no further interest in. You wound me around your finger; I can't believe I gave you that power. I made myself completely vulnerable and threw away my judgement.

I hope that I'm there in the back of your mind the next time, and I know there will be a next time, that some other girl falls for you.

Unstoppable

Here I come to face the day
I feel unstoppable, nothing can stand in my way
What can I fear when I feel so alive
When I'm in control, it seems life can't deprive
When I feel so confident and sure of myself
When I like what's in the mirror, not wish I was someone else
But I don't always feel this way
This isn't my average day
The negative is easier to see
Stressed out is easier to be
It takes a lot to put on a smiley face
Frustration and exhaustion replace kindness and grace
It's time to turn that around
For better things I'm bound
Run the race that's marked out for you
And brighten someone else's day too

Chances

When life offers you a chance, take it. Don't shrug it off, thinking another one will come along. because more often that not, they won't. You'll think about going for something, but then think, "Eh, I guess I'm not up for that right now." But you don't. And you make excuses....a lot of them. "I don't have time", "I'm not good enough", "It's too expensive", "I just can't do it". Or maybe you convince yourself that another chance will come along. Well guess what? If you let life pass you by, you will regret it! You'll look back years later and ask yourself, I wonder what would've happened if I had gone for it. What's the worst that could happen? You screw up? Well, at least you gave it your best try :)

Life Song

How can I live up to your standards? You're perfect. Not a one single flaw, immaculate in every way. That's too much to ask of me. I could never even compare to you. I don't understand so many things. I mess up in irreparable ways but you can fix anything. It doesn't seem fair, that you would choose me. Grateful? Yes. Make sense? No. I don't deserve your love, yet you give it to me anyway. No matter how many times I say I'll change for the better, I stay the same. My desire can fluctuate from time to time. One moment I'll be on the exact same page with you and feel so alive that I feel like dancing, and I don't care who's watching. The next second, you'll be the last thing on my mind. And I know it, but I don't care. It's a cycle, up and down all the time. There's no such thing as in the middle. Either I'm on fire, or I'm not. This is my life song to you. In this crazy life I live, I give you my permission to be first. In everything. In school, tennis, track, basketball managing, show choir, work, friendships, family.....you take top priority. It's all for you. My love will never be fake, although it may be in short supply at times, it will always be real.

Shopping: The Pros and Cons

I am a girl so it's a give-in that me and shopping go together like a fat kid and French Fries. I'm not a shopaholic (I don't have enough money for that) but when I get the chance I buy what I can!

I "oooh" and "awe" over the clothes in the front, more expensive part of the store. One glance at most of the price tags usually has me sighing and heading for the clearance racks. The nice part is I usually find something I really like anyway. But I've got to keep myself in check, though. I don't want to end up walking up the cash register with 3 shirts and a necklace, have the clerk add up the total to $60, and realize I only have $45.

Another thing that is quite irrating is seeing a cute shirt on a mannequin and then trying it on....only to realize that the mannequin's figure made the shirt look a heck of a lot better! Definitely a slam to the old self-esteem. So I always make sure I try on clothes before I buy them. That is my least favorite part the whole experience. I hate trying clothes on. It's time consuming & makes my hair look like Ozzy Ozbourne's. But I have to do it because if I don't, it always ends up that I'll try it on at home and won't like it. Then I'll have to return it...yada yada yada. Way more work than it's worth. So it's better to just put up with it.

Another thing that bugs me is how the local mall seems to have less good stores every year (not that it had a whole lot to begin with). We lost Bath and Body and Claire's....pure insanity! Why can't they get rid of the stores we don't need, like Schneisers and Christopher and Banks?? And have they ever heard of adding better stores, like Aeropostale, Hollister, American Eagle, PacSun, Charlotte Russe, Abercrombie...? Hello! A mall is for teenagers! (Well pretty much) And for goodness sake, can we get some FOOD in the food court?? An A&W, Culver's, Wendy's, KFC...you know actual restaurants?

I guess that's more cons than pros, but I think the pros outweigh the cons :)

Disruptions

Do you ever get those brief moments throughout the day where you remember something funny? Maybe it was from this morning, or yesterday, or last week, or maybe even last year. You try unsuccessfully to resist the urge to laugh out loud. You fail....miserably. Ok ok, think of something sad, you tell yourself.....not working. Plan B: clamp your mouth shut with a nearby object: tape, your hand, someone else's hand.... If all the above don't work, hold your breath. For as long as need may be. Eventually you will pass out and then you won't be able to laugh, thereby leaving the class disruption-free. Problem solved! Although I've never got to the last step....

So this happens to me quite often. If the incident on my mind is particularly funny I have an even harder time controlling myself. Most of them only being funny to me and a couple friends.

Speaking of disrupting, one of the most annoying, embarrassing things that frequently happens to me during class is my stomach grumbling. I eat a healthy breakfast, definitely filling me up. So WHY does my stomach feel the need to complain?? I know when someone else can hear it, when the kid next to me turns his head to look at me, gives me a confused look, and starts laughing. I have to assure them it's my stomach! :S My stomach and I will have to have a serious talk, I'm going to tell it that this behavior will not be tolerated.

Moving On

It's ok
I forgive you
Not a problem!
No worries!
It was an accident :)
I will be ok.

It's what I say when someone does me wrong. It's an automatic response.
If only I said what I really mean....

It's not ok.
I can't deal with this
How could you??
You should have known what this would do to me.
I'm not ok.

I have to be strong, pain will go away eventually if I just tough it out.
But I know, deep down, that when the cut is deep, it will never go away away.
It will fade, and maybe even be unnoticable to the rest of the world.
But I can still feel it.
And it's still there.
And no matter how much I try to forget, try to move on, it always will be.

It's not a conscious thing, more like a stain on the wall. You only remember it's there when you see it.

And yes I will recover, and I will heal.
And over time I will forget, not completely, but enough.
Maybe the memory won't even be painful, I can only hope.

Versus

Waking up when the alarm goes off vs. hitting the snooze button and sleeping for just another 2.....5.....10.....20 minutes.

Elegant brown eyeliner with black mascara and purple eye shadow vs. natural (a.k.a no make-up!) can you imagine???

Cute new shirt from hollister with some skinny jeans from American Eagle and the best darn smelling perfume you have vs. sweatshirt, sweatpants, & flip flops.

Healthy breakfast, some oatmeal and orange juice (not mixed together!) vs. a poptart and lucky charms with a cappacino to go!

Brushing your teeth vs. chewing a stick of gum to cover up your morning breath that could wipe out an entire city if unleashed

To stare at the cuttie a couple desks away in science vs. actually listening to the teacher's lecture on the reproductive system....

Run your little heart out at volleyball practice, sweating bullets by the end of the 2nd lap vs. hiding in the bathroom, conveniently until the running is over.

Logging on to facebook, just for a couple minutes.... vs. working on that history project that was assigned a week ago that just happens to be due tomorrow.

Going to bed when you know you're tired and you have to wake up for church in the morning vs. writing a blog at 11:45 pm.

Versus. What will you choose?

Days Go By

Whew! Gotta remember how to breathe. So much to remember! But so little time.
Days fly by, I've got to spend them wisely. Each day that passes, I'll never get back.
Does what I'm doing matter? Or am I wasting precious time? Limited time.
Competitions arise in my mind. Making the right choice is essential.
Make the wrong one, & I'll always wonder what would have happened if I'd made the right one.
Wear a smile, when I'm frowning inside. I can't let everyone know how weak I am.
Not enough hours in the day, can the clock hand move any faster??
If I'm not careful, I'll look back in 20 years and say, "What have I done?"
Everything that's important to me now, the sun in my solar system,
Will that matter when my time has run out?
All my success, my failures, & embarrassing mistakes...how will they shape me to be who I am?

Nobody's Perfect!

"Stop, stop! Ok lets go from the top. AGAIN. Whoever is singing do-re-so, it's do-re-me. Get it right!" Whoops, my bad :S

"Ok everyone, here are your tests back. Now i have to admit this is the easiest test i've given since....well....ever. And you all did exceptional.....well most of you." (did he just just glance at me?)

"Miss Thompson, can you please tell me when the first steam engine was used?" "Um, gee, well....{flipping frantically through notes} 1920?"

Ok, so none of these things have actually happened to me (thank goodness!). But I do mess up more than I accomplish. Ha just ask my friends.

But I like to think of my imperfections as part of my personality! I mean, come on, who else would manage to ask the Subway lady for pork after she just asked for a chicken melt?? Think of how boring the world would be if no one ever messed up. AFV would go out of business, for sure. And for all you blackmailers, sorry to say you'd be outta the job. I'm also pretty positive that the whole gossip/media thing we got going on would disappear like my brother when my mom asks him to do the dishes. So laugh off your embarrassing moments. Everyone else is!

"Nobody's perfect! I gotta work it! Again and again, til I get it right. Nobody's perfect! You live and you love it!" -Hannah Montana

Life is Good. Really.

Life is good. I don't care what people say. I can't say it any other way.

Life isn't always fair. It isn't always a walk in the park. You can't go through life saying, "I want this, I want that," and except to receive it. But it IS the only life you will ever get on this earth. And you could always, ALWAYS be worse off than you are.

Let's say you've been stuck after hockey practice waiting for your mom to come get you but can't call her because your phone died and can't borrow someone else's because you are the last human left in the arena (even the little dust clumps have disappeared). You glance at the clock. You've been waiting for 1 hour 43 minutes. You want to scream! "UGH! Why is my life so horrible??" But imagine that you're a 10-year old girl, waiting for her mom to pick her up from school. She waits and waits and waits. Her mom never shows up. She's been killed in a car accident.

There are pains in this world that you can't even imagine. And we complain over the littlest, most insignificant things. "Oh man, I can not believe I'm paired with Agatha for that history project. Does she own anything besides that yellow t-shirt? And I'm pretty sure her last shower was when Bush was President...." While an African boy is starving and hasn't eaten in 6 days.

We have SOOOO much. But do we ever take time to stop, and say a grateful prayer.? Not nearly enough. If you've got food on your plate, a snack in the cupboard, a warm bed, a toilet, and some spare $ to spend at the movies, consider yourself lucky. You are fortunate to have what some people can't even imagine.

Why do we always focus on the negative? We put down ourselves, and bash others to build ourselves back up. Consciously or not, we all do it. Think of all the ways you limit yourself if you don't have confidence in YOU!

This world will never satisfy us, God is the only and will always be the only thing that can give us true joy. So take time to thank God for your blessings. Tell him you're grateful for the freedoms and priveleges that we don't deserve to have. Seriously.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Sure, everyone's heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words" and most of us would agree. Ok, whoop de doo...what about it?

Think about it. Your friend tells you she has a soccer game Thursday night. She's really pumped up for it, it's against a tough team but she thinks they'll pull off a win. You put on a big smile and wish her the best of luck. "Knock 'em dead, girl!" But think of how much better your bud would feel if YOU showed up at that game and cheered her on from the stands.

Picture this. A girl on your debate team is looking a little down one day. You go up to her and ask her what's wrong. "Oh, well, my grandpa just passed away and we were really close...." she sniffles. You either: A. pat her on the back and say, "Oh man, I'm really sorry. That must be so tough." or B. Give her a big hug and offer to be there to talk if she wants to. And maybe even make her a sympathy card. Which option do you think would make her feel better?

Sometimes you have to slow down and take a breath. Consider what's more important, that new episode of Lost or helping Grandma with her groceries. You can say the sweetest words on earth, but that's all they'll ever be--words. It may be harder taking that extra step, but it's a step....not a mile.

Teen Forever

Taxes
+
Work 40 hours/week
+
Laundry
+
Mow the lawn
+
Make supper
+
Haul kids every which way
+
7 hours of sleep
+
Insurance or no insurance??
=
the life of an adult.

It seems like just yesterday I was playing with Barbies & hide-n-go seek with the neighbor kids. Not too long ago, I was the little girl riding the pink bicycle with little fringies coming out of the handlebars. (Oh and don't forget the little bike horn, which was probably just as loud-and annoying-as a car horn.) Not a care in the world. No stress, just fun & games. Or how about more up-to-date: track meets, tennis matches, basketball games, youth group, summer camp, sleepovers, driving permit (hopeful license in 1 month 5 days--not that I'm counting or anything), iPods, Facebook, & texting. It's the good life! Sure, I've had plenty of rain on my parade. Or storms, in the case of homework :P And of course, there's always the talk about your future. What classes to take to make sure you're all set. "Wat r u gonna majer in when u gro up?" "Most likely spelling and grammar."

But what I if don't want to grow up?

What if I still can't get enough of Pocahontas and The Lion King? What if I can't give up those high school football games (where everyone is completely intent on watching the game and only the game)? What if I enjoy being immature & boiling up miscellaneous items from the church fridge just to see if they'll explode?

I mean, come on. Me?? College?! You've gotta be kidding. Makes me think of Mom and Dad Mouse saying to little Gus, "Oh honey, we know you're nervous for your first day. Just don't pay any attention to the fact that most of the other students are cats."

Man, I wish I could just fly off with Peter Pan to Neverland. No worries, and just be a teen forever.

Endings and Beginnings

Why did it have to end like this?? Was this anyway for a person to go? I knew what laid out before me, and the last thing I wanted to do was face it. I wasn't ready to let the good times go, not this early. Looking around me, I know my feelings were mutual. The look of despair was evident in every face I passed. At least I wouldn't take this fate alone. Time was running out, how could this have come so fast?! I glanced up and knew I had only moments left. The painful journey stretched out before me and I wasn't prepared. Change was inevitable, and I've always been resistant to change. Today was no different. Then suddenly, it happened. The ringing sounded in my ears. School had begun.